Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
PANTIES FOUND
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