I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
