So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
