we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
