This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
