I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
