It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
As shirtless as possible
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
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