you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Randomize
