Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
