I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
