If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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