What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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