Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It's blow job season.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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