I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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