we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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