No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Randomize
