They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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