i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Randomize
