The maid of honor just puked.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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