I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
