your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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