Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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