Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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