On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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