we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
