I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
