I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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