Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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