She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
