I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Randomize
