Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
You made me cry and you don't even care
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I don't want my vagina anymore.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
