Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
