All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
