i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
