Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
honey bunches of taint.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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