Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You took a bar mat shot.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You've changed since you got that strap on
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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