so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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