If that was your dad, he is hot
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
