erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Randomize
