Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
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