trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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