I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
