Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
