this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
