i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
