I should be sponsored by Trojan
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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