Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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