I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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