Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
