Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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