Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
