Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
