I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize