we're blogging at a bar
Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
