i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
So much Jack, so little girl.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
