That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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