Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
