That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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