dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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