I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
