the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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