great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
