yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
