if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
well you can't waste a boner
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Mom said you looked used
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Randomize
