If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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