summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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