please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize