Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
what day is it and did you see me today?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
