Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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