Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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