i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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