I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
