I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
True strength comes from lack of pants
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
COCAINE IS GR8
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
