Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
We need to get me chipped asap
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