You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
