She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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