She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
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