My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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