i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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