Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
