we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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